Wintry Darlings,
Seven flarpin' days 'til
Hannukah! Nine days ’til flarpin'
Christmas! ZERO DAYS 'til
living your best and most authentic life and believing in whatever you choose to believe in! Ain’t that flarpin’ beautiful!? We hope you’re recovering from holiday parties in between holiday parties so you’re able to attend holiday parties before the holiday! SPEAKING OF PARTIES, a few things:
you are releasedfrom attending any party you really don't want to attend! Yes, Virginia, even at your own home! Hide if you want hunny, just leave those
snax n’ drankz and your guests will still have a woolen and wonderful time (people go flarpin’ floofy for a festive sweater this time of year! Another thing about parties:
COME TO OUR NEW YEAR’S DYNASTYLAND! It’s the party you deserve, complete with food, drink, enchantertainment™, and areas you can hide in.
We’re very very excited already. Are YOU very excited? Great! We make a cute couple, don’t we? I’ve thought YOU were cute for a long time. ;)
Last week was a
winter wonderland at the theater, minus the winter, but
plus shows. Highlights included: another SOLD OUT
Fast and the Furious musical parody! That crew has really cracked the (key)code on automotive musicals. Mazel to them! New years resolution starting early: We want to start “mazel”ing more generously!
Cameron Esposito bringing people together for her show
Separated, MAZEL! Zach Sherwin crossin’ it for the last time of 2019,
MAZEL! Chuck Tingle selling his erotica and wearing a bag on his head all night,
MAZEL! LANCE BASS bringing as many thrills and squeals as ever as a guest on
Arden Myrin’s amazing and BONKERS ENERGIZED Will You Accept this Rose?, MAZEL!
Buddy Wakefield’s sold out show for his book release that featured his amazing poetry + piano + saxophone, MAZEL! And if this week was a stoqing (stocking) we’d call the dorn thang STORF’D (stuffed) and be so thrilled at the contents we wouldn’t even need any more gifts! OOOH!
Let us do a #virtualunboxing of this #stoqingmetaphor!! We’ll write the words, YOU’ll use your IMAGINATION (the greatest gift Santa ever gave!) to insert yourself in the story and
unbox the stoq with us!
The pre-dawn morn is chilly and bursting with anticipation. The air smells of
woodfire, cinnamon, and hot chocolate. It’s just you, and you savor these moments of solitude with the same indulgent attention you give the last square of
Lindt premium chocolate. You sit fireside in your flan-jams (flannel pajamas) clutching the heirloom stoqing you've had for your entire life. You know when you empty this stoqing you’ll see everything this week has to offer at Dynasty!
You reach your chilled hand into the velvety innards of the glorious oversized sock and feel an
immediate warmth as your fingers curl around
TONIGHT’S shows! You pull them out so you can get a look… there are TWO shows and they are both beautiful! O’! They shine with a brassy gleam! First up at 8pm it’s
Two Old Queens Celebrating The Holidays! But don’t let the name fool you… it’s more than two queens! This show is a bustling queendom! Main Queens:
DREW DROEGE and
MITCH SILPA cordially invite you to their holiday gaythering, featuring scandalous tales of yesteryear, dead celebrity gossip and too much punch. Other improvisors/partyguests include
JILLIAN BELL! MICHAELA WATKINS! LUCAS HAZLETT! JONNIE REINNHART! JAMES ADOMIAN! Oh my gorsh you are so lucky get to go to this show! Then at
10pm your stoqing has a beautifully wrapped show for you, it’s comedy, it’s pathos, it’s storytelling, it’s perfect for the holidays because it acknowledges that this time of year ain’t easy for everyone, it’s
Happy Holidays, Our Parent(/s) Are Dead! True stories
from comedians who’ve lost their parent/s. It can’t help but be funny because these people are stars. We’ve got:
DREW DROEGE (again! A Dynasty double date! Your stoqing is themed! It’s so cute!
JEANIE BERGEN! BILL DIXON! LAURA HOUSE! MISTY MONROE! And LIVE MUSIC from
SARA & ANDREW!
Wow. If a stoqing starts out THIS good… can it improve? You give yourself a break, take a sip of
HoCho w
. MiMos (hot chocolate, w/ mini marshmallows durh) and prepare yourself to reach in again. WHAT will be revealed next? You take a breath of crisp air, and reach in again… your hand lands on… what’s this?
It’s
WEDNESDAY’S event! You pull it out, you can’t believe your eyes! You didn’t ask for this! You didn’t even KNOW to ask because it wasn’t even on a calendar anywhere!!!! It’s
WAYNE BRADY in a live taping of his new
COMEDY IQ! Six talented
TEENS (teens are so in right now! All your friends will be jealous!) and ONE
Wayne Brady (the famous one!) are filming the finale of this new show, sure to be a holiday hit.
And it was in your stoqing! SANTA IS A WILD BOI!!
Ok,
the HoCho w. MiMos is kicking in. You’re on a sugar high. No more of this savoring, it’s time to empty this stoqing!!!
THURSDAY it’s over the top! It’s amazing! It’s
Creeper Christmas! You remember Creeper from the viral
CholoFit workout videos and here he is with a full show! Creeper is
FRANKIE QUIÑONES who is easily one of the funniest and kindest people in the game. PROOF? This show is FUNNY and also a portion of the proceeds go to CHARITY- they will benefit
The Andy Vargas Foundation helping scholarship funding for underprivileged youth in California. Oh My Gorsh. Your stoqing is giving to you AND giving back. Wait, there’s a note on this one! It says, beer and wine served at this event! Aw!
Look! Over here! There’s a package… you recognize the shape, you’ve seen this before. You rip the shiny foil paper away and YES! It’s
Everything’s Great! You love this show and you needed a refill! You know they’re all special editions… what’s in this one!? WOW!
MARGARET CHO! RACHEL BLOOM! BRIAN MCELHANEY! Ok mama, this show is storfed! You know it always sells out, so you act QUICKLY.
Wait! There’s something else in here! In the toe! But ShowSanta has already been so generous! It’s a beautiful, round little something, shaped like… an apple? Wait! THREE! It’s Candy, Cora and Seedy!
The Apple Sisters Happy Holi-Doozy Christ-mess Special!
The Apple Sisters are LA’s favorite vintage musical comedy trio, and they’ll take us all back to a land of bag bands, slapstick, and modest product endorsement. You’re so lucky to be invited!
You lay your stoqing down and notice the Santa ornament on the mantle (beside the menorah) glint as the sun rises and shines through a frosty window pane … either the morning light is playing a trick on you or… that flarkin’ ornament just winked at you. This really IS the most magical time of the year!
Santa winks and Maccabee blinks,
Jamie and Vanessa
