2022 Calendar is Out Now!
Darlings,
Do you know what time it is? Likely! (Mad props to WATCHES, CLOCKS, and SUNDIALS.) But do you know what DAY OF THE YEAR IT IS and what days preceded this day and what days will follow it and what number-days line up with week-days? YOU DON’T. Fear not, WE HAVE CREATED THE PRODUCT/ PERFECT GIFT for this nearly impossible conundrum!!!
Unveiling… the DYNASTY 2022 WALL/FLOOR/COUNTER/SURFACE CALENDAR!!!!!!!!!!!
Because it’s like, what do you get the person who has everything? THE DYNASTY 2022 CALENDAR. Unless they are a super shady employee at PRINTCENTERUSA.COM they do not have it yet. CUZ IT JUUUUST CAME OUT. We literally HAVE NOT SHIPPED ANY AT THIS POINT SO THIS IS A REALLY SAFE BET.
The Dynasty 2022 Calendar is Perfect for:
Time nerds!
Comedy lovers!
Venue heads!
Wealthy CEOs who want to WaLk on the WiLd SyDe and show their wealthy guests they are still HIP.
Hamster owners!
Design freaks!
People who LOVE the performance scene in LA!
People who MISS the performance scene in LA!
Anyone who’s ever given you a shartstorm of a gift! This calendar is a growth opportunity. Show them how the season is done right.
Once you’re back in your seat (after the “standing O” you certainly gave this news) we’d love to take a moment to tell you about a UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY to make money from home (if your workplace allows teleworking) while organizing your days with a calendar.
What makes The Dynasty calendar different from other calendars? GLAD YOU ASKED.
Liberties have been taken with BORING MONTH NAMES
Multiple photos of your favorite performers EVERY SINGLE MONTH.
A Wall-Puncturing NAIL with every purchase!
Exciting NEW holidays that other calendars would be too SCARED to include!
It helps support a local theater that’s still trying to make sense of the universe in the midst of an ever-evolving PANDEMIC. ;)
One full, EXTRA, SECRET month!
LIMITED EDITION means that this can be considered an INVESTMENT! Will it pay off? TIME WILL TELL. And by its very nature, this calendar… TELLS TIME!
Some other calendars can only display on certain types of walls. :( We said FLARP THAT. The Dynasty 2022 Calendar is a beautifully SURFACE-INCLUSIVE addition to ALMOST ALL WALLS including: Buttressing walls, cavity walls, compartment walls, curtain walls, dwarf walls, and OTHER WALL TYPES.
Does your wall LOOK PUFFY???
Hang your calendar at an angle for SLIMMING DEFINITION.
Does your wall LOOK FLIMSY?
Thicken her up by hanging two or more calendars!
Does your wall size LOOK PERFECT?? Enhance perfection with an artfully placed calendar. (“Calendars are to walls what cherries are to Sundaes.” -Norman RockWall)
Worth noting: ANIMALS LOVE THIS CALENDAR!
Also, we realize that Dynasty Darlings (you!) come in all shapes and sizes and so do your dwellings! Our calendars look great and HANG WELL in APARTMENTS, MANSIONS, TREE HOUSES, MIXED USE ENCLAVES, WORK/LIVE SPACES, BASIC HUTS, COMPLEX HUTS, EMPLOYEE BREAK ROOMS, CASTLES, KIDS ROOMS, TEENS ROOMS, CONVALESCENT HOMES, FUSION RESTAURANTS, SYNAGOGUES, END OF DAYS BUNKERS, TOWN HALLS, JAIL CELLS, LOCAL HERITAGE MUSEUMS, DORM ROOMS (STUDENT), DORM ROOMS (RESIDENT ASSISTANT), EMPORIUMS, COMPETING THEATERS, FOOD SERVICE AREAS, WATER MAINTENANCE OFFICES, ROTARY CLUB SPACES, PUBS (high-end and low-end), PARLORS FOR HAIR, PARLORS FOR BEAUTY, SPECIALTY SHOPS, PARLORS FOR MAGIC, DEALERSHIPS of ALL TYPES, CONDOMINIUMS, OSTERIAS, CASINOS, BARNS, BOILER ROOMS, and did we say EMPORIUMS? If we did, GOOD, because EMPORIUMS are HOT RIGHT NOW.
A STORY OF TRUTH: Someone once got one of our calendars and put it up and then won OVER 1 TRILLION DOLLARS in a LOCAL LOTTERY.
Here’s an “An Imagine This™” exercise to promote the calendar. THIS TERRIBLE situation would only happen if you DIDN’T have this calendar. Imagine This: You’re hosting a dinner party (10 couples), and you put out a MASSIVE charcuterie plate that you’d been working on FOR A WEEK. People are really loving the spread. You overhear someone say “Wow.” You start BEAMING because you feel appreciated for the first time in a WHILE. It feels really NICE. One of the couples approaches you and asks where you got the perfectly curated selection of meats, vegan meats, cheeses, vegan cheeses, nuts, crackers, breads, and spreads. This is your chance to have a meaningful connection over work you did. BUT you forgot the names of the shops you used! You used 4 specialty shops that you’d never visited before and their newness combined with your social anxiety and general forgetfulness has left you conversationally IMPOTENT. But wait! You remember that you wrote down the location in your calendar! You go to find your calendar and realize - you threw it out because it was SO UGLY. Now your new friends have TRUST ISSUES with you because now they don’t know if your selection was ethically/locally sourced and HEIGHTENED SUSPICIONS ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER because… why would you just not know?! There are MURMURINGS around the party. People start leaving. One person tries to gag out the food because there is now a rumour it was poisoned. IT WASN’T! YUH-OH! If only you’d had the charcuterie place written on your Dynasty calendar, this would have all been avoided because you would have kept it because it was so pretty. And THAT’S THE DYNASTY (CALENDAR) DIFFERENCE™.
If this note wasn’t enough to convince you to put your CLICKER FINGER TO USE and GET YOUR CALENDAR, we fear nothing will be.
VanJam
