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Dear Darlings,
Hello, holiday honeyyyys! We’re writing you The Last Newsie of November, because it’s almost December, because time means nothing, and because the impossible IS, apparently, possible. Hope you’re all feeling as light n’ lovely as a critter can after surviving one of the most intense onslaughts of corporate emails and mass marketing texts urging you to get things before it’s toooo laaaate! (Look, we tried not to be too annoying but OUR sale is still going on today, promo code is Batshit! But we’re a small business, so it’s different? We say "Yes!" And we also say "our sale comes with actual small animal bones!" and we also say "That's The Dynasty Difference!™) “BUY BUY BUY” the world screams, as we teeter on our axis and whirl into the cosmos! “YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR LIFE IF YOU BUYYYYYYYY” the screens who are our FRIENDS scream at us as we look to them for human connection. Would our friends (the screens) lie to us!? Surely not! And so, with our saved credit card info attached to our face ID, we robotically spend and believe we are saving… not just dollar-bucks, but EVERYTHING. The world. Ok, as spiritual humans, we know the real truth, we understand we can’t save the world through purchases and ultimately can only control our perception. But we perceive things so much better in matching holiday jammies! 🫠 And did we mention that our own Dynasty deals (T-shirts! Totes! RAT BONES!) are still available at Batshit prices? We did? Great! Sorry! Great! But honestly, no presh! ;)
Shifting to non-capitalist vibes, we had a nice lil’ break and enjoyed the company and comfort of friends, family, and foods. Grammy’s sweet n’ all, but nobody hugs as warm and clumpy as marshed potaters.
Here are some actual human experiences we recommend this week:
THIS WEEK AT DYNASTY 🤚
WEDNESDAY, 7:30PM: Ask Us Anything! LIVE AND LIVE-STREAMED! Join MAE MARTIN, ALANA JOHNSTON and KAYLA LORETTE as they do improv based on personal questions asked by the audience! Before the show, audience members will write down any questions they have for the performers and those questions will be used as inspiration for improv scenes. Just when you think this couldn’t get any more fun, the show will end with an improvised, dramatic pilot that will never air (except on the livestream as you watch it.)
THURSDAY, 7:30PM: The Fast and the Furious: A Musical Parody After a sold out pre-pandemic run LA’s boldest baldest musical is back with a vengeance and a revamped second act. New songs! New dances! Same dumb premise!
Come watch your favorite car-driving gang members battle their greatest foe yet– singing and dancing at the same time. In this unauthorized parody that is in no way connected to the very profitable Universal property, Dominic Toretto and his team (The Rock, Tyrese, Michelle Rodriguez, and Ludacris) do what they do best: commit crimes. And what they do second best: solve crimes. And what they do third best: harmonize.
If you want to watch one of the films to prepare, we suggest ALL OF THEM *but actually the 8th movie, The Fate of the Furious.
FRIDAY, 7:30PM: MARC MARON The man, the myth, the Maron is *SOLD OUT*
Back on December 13th and 28th!
SATURDAY, 4:00PM: EDEN SHER: I Was On A Sitcom
I Was On A Sitcom is a show about finding out who you are when your TV show ends and your “real life” begins. Because when you’ve played a character on TV for a decade, what exactly does it mean to “be yourself?” This show offers a rare intimate glimpse inside a popular sitcom actor’s real, raw life. You will walk away feeling like you’ve made a new friend — and learned more about birthing twins than you ever did before. It’s funny, it’s dark, vulnerable, and disarmingly casual — it’s like having a night out with Eden herself, telling you a story over drinks.
7:30PM: Mortified: 20th Anniversary Show Celebrate two decades of angst at this special edition of Mortified. Hailed a “cultural phenomenon” by Newsweek and celebrated by This American Life, Entertainment Weekly, Time, Wired, The AV Club, The Today Show (twice), and beyond. Witness adults sharing their most embarrassing childhood artifacts (journals, letters, poems, lyrics, plays, home movies, art) in front of total strangers. Hear grown men and women confront their past with tales of their first kiss, first puff, worst prom, fights with mom, life at bible camp, worst hand job, best mall job, and reasons they deserved to marry Jon Bon Jovi. Visit getmortified.com.
SUNDAY, 4:00PM: Sad Boyz *SOLD OUT* Will this make them happy? Prolly not.
7:30PM: The Weird and Wonderful World of Industrial Musicals Diesel Dazzle… Got to Investigate Silicones…The Bathrooms Are Coming…? Welcome to the bonkers alternate universe of industrial musical theater, presented by Letterman and Simpsons writer STEVE YOUNG Steve discovered corporate musicals while gathering obscure albums for the Letterman show’s “Dave’s Record Collection” comedy bit. Years later, Steve is the world’s authority on the bizarrely entertaining shows created for company conventions and sales meetings from the 50’s to the 80’s that the public was never meant to see or hear. Steve, the star of Dava Whisenant’s award-winning documentary Bathtubs Over Broadway, loves to bring the jaw-dropping delights of industrial musicals to audiences around the country, featuring ultra-rare films from his collection that can’t be seen anywhere else. Thrill to cheerfully twisted in-house musical propaganda from General Electric, Kellogg’s, American-Standard, Citgo, Purina, and more, with Steve’s affectionately snarky commentary (and even a bit of live music). It’s a secret world of Americana that will astonish, amuse, perplex — and just might make you want to go out and sell, sell, sell!
MONDAY, 7:30PM: Outrageous: Showbiz and the Culture Wars: KLIPH NESTEROFF Book Launch
With Special Guests:
PATTON OSWALT
JAMES URBANIAK
BLAINE CAPATCH
There is a common belief that we live in unprecedented times, that nobody got offended in the past, that people are simply too sensitive today, that racism and sexism were once widely accepted without objection. KLIPH NESTEROFF’S OUTRAGEOUS reveals that the truth is precisely the opposite. With
every step of our cultural history, minorities have pushed back against racist portrayals, women have fought for respect, and people have sought to change the world of entertainment and beyond through a combination of censorship, advocacy, and protest.
Americans have been objecting to entertainment for nearly two hundred years, sometimes rationally, often irrationally. Likewise, powerful political interests have sought to circumvent the arts using censorship, legal harassment, and outright propaganda. From Mae West through Johnny Carson, Amos ’n’ Andy through Beavis and Butt-Head,
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kliph Nesteroff has been called the “premier popular historian of comedy,” by the New York Times. He is the author of two previous books, The Comedians: Drunks, Thieves, Scoundrels, and the History of American Comedy and We Had a Little Real Estate Problem: The Unheralded Story of Native Americans and Comedy. His work has been praised by comedy legends from Gilbert Gottfried to Mel Brooks, Fred Willard to Norm Macdonald.
The fond embrace of gravy,
VanJam
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