A Loving Quaraspondence
Darlings,
How nice it is to sit and write to you! We hope it’s nice to receive, and that you’re in a good happy space and that you’re healthy and have been using your at home time to go on *an epic inward journey of self-discovery* and that you’ve discovered at least three new things to love and or to love about yourself, or just discovered something interesting! If you haven’t yet, we CHALLENGE you!
Some examples from our own lives:
Turns out, Vanessa loves to paint with watercolors! And she’s also very bad at it, with no real interest in the discipline it would take to improve. But she’s so bad that the very fact that she still loves it despite her lack of skill is actually loveable! Good news: you can thoroughly, shamelessly enjoy things you’re rotten at! Another discovery is that lavender, while seemingly hearty, is actually kind of tricky to care for. Is it drooping because it’s over watered? Drooping because it’s thirsty? A quick google ('net search) provides the horrible news that: both are equally possible. Will she kill it with thirst or kill it by drowning? Or will they get to know each other and somehow both learn some important lessons in the process? That the lavender, bought to soothe her nerves is bringing on near hourly waves of panic in Vanessa is the ultimate flarpin’ irony. Will Vanessa’s lavender survive? While this isn’t the first time Vanessa has become neurotically involved with one of her house plants, it IS the most intense. Please send good vibes to Lavidia*. *The ailing plant.
Jamie meanwhile has stayed incredibly busy playing with sculpting clay and miniature animals and babies. He made a little video about a baby climbing a mountain (to save humanity obv). THEN, shortly after that, he was reading an article on how to love himself (just to brush up, definitely no major issues coming to light in self isolation) and the article randomly asserted that “asking a person who only knows conditional love to give you unconditional love is like… expecting a baby to climb a mountain.” He’s still meditating on the significance of that, but let’s be clear, it’s significant as flarpin’ flarp. He also made the time to discover that he surprisingly enjoyed Danny Boyle’s romantic comedy Yesterday, despite never wanting to see it pre-pandemic. Don’t get him wrong, there are some major plot holes and glaring missed opportunities with the premise, but if you’re looking for a lighthearted high concept romp to connect to some deep feelings while eating handfuls of walnuts and raisins (which we can all agree is the official healthy snack of quarantine 2020), this is one of 600 currently available on 158 streaming platforms. Perhaps most importantly, he also figured out that the name “boxer shorts” is derived from shorts worn by actual boxers which felt absolutely revelatory until he told some “friends” about it in his 38th Zoom chat of the day, and was met with blank nods as they waited for what the big news was. “Fuck ‘em!” he said as he muted himself, between walnut raisin swallows. To top that off, Jamie’s doorbell rang yesterday and it was his neighbor (not the cokehead with 18 pack abs - the one in the apt on the other side. You know, the crankhead with an 18 pack of Cuckoo), who scolded him for throwing away the mail he received from the US Census Bureau. As much as Jamie is craving human connection right now, he didn’t ask for that interaction in his life. But it happened, and now it’s for all of us to contemplate.
We BOTH discovered (along with the rest of the world) that Netflix docu-series Tiger King is an unbelievable carnival of narcissism, with impossibly bizarre humans using big cats as bait to create cult followings and con vulnerable people into indentured servitude, sexy-zoo style. In other words: ! We hope the afterlife of the main cast consists of an eternity of revenge-style reckonings with big cats who are finally free to do as they wish. (This feels like too mean of a thing to waste our time and wishes on, and like completely un-Dynasty, so maybe strike that from the record. But we DO wish that humans were kinder to animals or left them all together alone.) **SPOILERS AHEAD** A few other takeaways: floral crowns are cancelled, contracts of marriage should not be entered under duress or the influence of meth, for godsakes never trust a man named Bhagavan, breast implants should only be pursued for personal reasons; not to accrue sick days, getting your arm torn off is the ultimate way to accrue sick days AND zoo cred in big cat world so flarpin’ milk that, and if you’re a Walmart guns-section floor manager and a wildly unstable man asks you to manage his campaign… SAY NO. Even if campaign management is your dream, THIS IS THE WRONG CAMPAIGN. CHOOSE ANOTHER ADVENTURE. LEAVE OKLAHOMA, LEAVE THE AMMO SECTION OF WALMART AND FIND YOUR PEOPLE, JOSHUA. **END OF SPOILERS**
Another mutual discovery: we’re feeling the true gravity of this time IN WAVES. We’re cycling through complicated emotions constantly; mourning for the world, feeling flashes of our own small every-day grief, frustration, numbness and denial, but still, gratefully, finding joy in connecting with others and of course the therapy of laughter. When we put on shows at the theater (which was somehow only three weeks and a lifetime ago) we took the responsibility and privilege of having people in our space and on the stage very seriously. And we’re very excited to be able to do that again for all of you, because we now have even more clarity on the importance of human connection, a reinvigorated excitement to create beautiful experiences, and heaps of gratitude for everything that’s happened in our lives to-date.
Until we can open our doors to you again, know that our hearts (AWWW!!!) remain open and welcoming and are just getting mushier all the time. Lots more below (including so many great new graphics from our graphics man Dan), so keep reading, follow us on Instagram, and we truly love you all!
— Jamie + Vanessa
