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Beautiful Dy'merican Darlings,
Let’s not talk about the horrible heritage nor the loomin’ dark future of that one country we used to live in (🙄), instead let’s 🪿( <— we’re going to pretend that’s an ostrich for the sake of this missive. But just know, The Emoji Corporation better brace itself for a VERY harshly worded complaint from Dynasty’s Ornithology department) 🕳️ pop our bird brains in a hole and mentally disappear into a happy DYMENSION. We’re so grateful for our Dynasty Vortex of Programming (DVOP) and invite you to pluckily plummet right in. Last week and weekend were jam packed with the good stuff (i.e, entertainment, kindness, refreshments, stars, etc) and this week is STUFFED like a living bird with its organs! So, come and thrust yourself in amongst the pulsing viscera of LIFE!
Regarding your holiday plans: Remember, if you get stuck beside an uncomfortable relative who says something they ought not, you have OPTIONS and you have OUTS. One is just flat out ignore them. Another, blink rapidly and bonk yourself on the noggin’ with a dinner roll and then laugh/cry as you shove the whole thing in your mouth. Then, when on the BRINK of choking, spit it all out on their plate and say “THANK GOD!!!!” It will *switch up the vibe*, and they’ll feel like maybe they saved you and maybe you were near death so they probably shouldn’t talk about that stuff anymore. You could be direct and say something cutting like “flarp off, you human booger.” You could go religious and say “God TOLD me you’d say that!” and then laugh and look up to the heavens with a chuckle, then do a shot of boiling gravy and Smirnoff for your fun God. You could stand and shriek “YOU UNCONSCIONABLE COW!!!!!” and then sit down and laugh and make a fart noise and do an impression of someone from a popular tv show to relieve the tension. You could also say, “Actually I can’t be here anymore! I’M GOING TO DYNASTY!*!” and then leave! No matter what your plans are, we hope you at MINIMUM find something pleasant to chew.
*We’re not actually open on Thanksgiving day BUT we’d love to be a part of your big moment. Our new marketing director is 16 and thinks VERY out of the box. And they said that “incorporating Dynasty as a bright spot in a public organic rage scream” could be huge for us.
🚨 You’ve also still got a chance to see these shows you may have missed! Last week's livestreams still available for viewing: MUSTAFAR TAKES LOS ANGELES: A LIVE STAGED READING OF THE REVENGE OF THE SITH, The Crossword Show, Likeminds! Comedy + Trivia, Fuck This Month & Holy Shit Improv 🚨
🍂 THIS WEEK AT DYNASTY 🍂
😭 😬Monday, 11/25, 7:30PM: Maria DeCotis' Emotionally Unreasonable
Have you ever felt threatened when someone shows you their engagement ring? Have you ever been to a wedding and thought, “these people should NOT be getting married?!” Maria DeCotis has too, except she's the one marrying them. EMOTIONALLY UNREASONABLE is an unforgettable hour of stand-up and musical comedy spotlighting her experience as a professional wedding officiant -- while navigating her own relationships, identity, and mental health. With powerful storytelling, original music, and punchlines you never see coming, she explores her unique perspectives on marriage, power dynamics, sexism, sex robots, turning 30, and more.
Content warning: intimate partner violence/IPV
Written and performed by MARIA DECOTIS; directed by RYAN CUNNINGHAM; music by EILEEN HANLEY and ERIC GERSEN
🌈 🥾 TUESDAY, 11/26, 6:00PM and 9:00PM: KRISTIN KEY
Join comedian KRISTIN KEY as she captures the magic of this year's groundbreaking Lesbian Army Tour and records her new comedy special right here in Los Angeles! Be part of KRISTIN KEY's Lesbian Army for an unforgettable night of hilarious comedy, songs, and storytelling. Get your tickets TODAY!
A portion of sales will benefit The Trevor Project.
KRISTIN KEY grew up in Amarillo, Texas as a minister’s daughter. Despite initial fears about (and painful reactions to) coming out as a teenager, KRISTIN eventually embraced her identity and found her calling on comedy stages. She has become an internationally headlining comedian whose hilarious videos -- including the iconic Lesbian National Anthem -- have garnered over 92 million views from 650,000+ dedicated followers across social media.
🦃 💨 WEDNESDAY, 11/27, 7:30PM: The 10TH Annual High & Mighty Thanksgiving Eve Power Hour
🎥LIVE AND LIVESTREAMED🎥
6 friends, 60 minutes, 60 shots of beer. Are you interested? Join JON GABRUS and special guests to kick off the Thanksgiving holiday with The 9th Annual High & Mighty Thanksgiving Eve Power Hour. Play along (or just watch) as the chaos ensues.
Featuring: JON GABRUS, IFY NWADIWE, OSCAR MONTOYA, MIKE MITCHELL, NICK WIGER, BETSY SODARO, GILLI NISSIM, and more!
🍞 THURSDAY, 11/28: Thanksgiving 🍞
😞 😞 SATURDAY, 11/30, 4:00PM and 7:30PM: Sad Boyz
SAD BOYZ is a weekly podcast hosted by JARVIS JOHNSON and JORDAN ADIKA, exploring male vulnerability, social awkwardness, and mental health through a comedic lens. Known for their deep dives into modern life’s uncomfortable realities, the hosts create a space that’s both humorous and emotionally insightful.
🟡 Monday, 11/25, 7:30PM: Let's Not Die: Yellow Dot Live! ADAM MCKAY's Yellow Dot Studios presents a night of comedy about the greatest existential threat facing humanity. Hilarious stuff! LET'S NOT DIE! (both the show name and a plea to fossil fuel CEOs) features stand-up comedy, music, sketches, and videos. It'll be a hilarious - and enraging - show for Yellow Dot Studios, a non-profit media studio calling out polluters and mobilizing action on the climate emergency.
With Special Guests
LONDON HUGHES
ADAM MCKAY
PETE HOLMES
IRENE TU
with support from Generation 180
+ MORE!
Flap on, sweet freaks!
VanJam
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