December Dygest: Ghosts, Love, and You

Hello Holiday Darlings, 

We hope you and your family thrived throughout Thanksgiving and the frenzied consumerist weekend that followed.  We had our own lovely, weird holiday weekend that was very in step with the whole 2020 vibe. 2020 vibe meaning this whole WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FLARP IS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT vibe. Take our Thanksgiving Eve for example: Usually we’re up to our elbows in vegetable prep and anxiety… this year, we were watching a Dynasty livestream and seeing a g’g’g’GHOST!??! **VIDEO PROOF HERE.** Yes, during CAMERON ESPOSITO’s Home For the All The Days livestream, things got ABSOLUTELY paranormal. Our very own Mary was promoted to Ghost Hunter Mary when she spotted the mysterious swooping light figure that seems to be the spirit of a graceful, fun-loving bat (we welcome other theories, but are really trusting our hunch on this one.) We can’t explain it and neither can our tech. It’s just the holiday gift n’ lift we needed, and we hope it will provide you a little adrenaline boost as well! (If you are a ghost hunter yourself or have any intel on how to speak to a ghost, please hit us up.) 

Speaking of gifts, lifts, and boosts… we’ll take JUST a moment to remind you of our 🦇BATSHIT SALES WEEK🦇 which is STILL HAPPENING (because we’re batty!) We’ve got alllll sorts of amazing offerings on merch, Dynasty on-demand shows and videos, classes, custom marquees and MORE. No pressure but we spent 2 million dollars that we borrowed from a scary gangster-type to produce this commercial promoting it so we REALLY NEED THIS SALE TO WORK or Mario is going to get ANGRY and when Mario gets angry... things… happen to skin and the places it’s supposed to be attached. Vital places. So yeah, um, shop the sale! 😎 😬 In a very chill way… THE STAKES ARE HIGH.. 

Speaking of high stakes (we played the card game Consistent Segue Phrase™ before writing this newsie and “speaking of” won!) here’s an earnest moment for you. [cue delicate piano tinklings] We, like everyone in the world, did not expect this pandemic to last so long. We did not expect to spend these nine months brainstorming, pivoting, learning new skills, and getting leaner as a company and softer as human bodies. We are Dynasty Typewriter, a place full of ideas and optimism and excitement that knows no bounds. We’ve come a long way and are excitedly building new “revenue streams” (fun business term!) to stay afloat - BUT - our income was very squarely rooted in selling physical tickets to shows in our space, which we are still unable to do. So if it’s within your budget, we’d love your support! To that end, we of course have all sorts of cool merch and experiences and now livestreams and classes available in our online shoppe, and we’ve also quietly created a GoFundMe where we humbly and pressurelessly (there has to be a better word for this but our quarantine brains are like, “Nah. You’ll take pressurelessly and if you search us again we’ll throw in the Family Matters theme song on repeat FOREVER.”) direct anyone interested in helping us survive this. We fully realize there are a myriad of worthy causes out there, but we do truly believe in the importance of independent venues. [delicate piano tinklings tinkling stronger!] Nurturing young artists, providing space for new voices, and cultivating intimate ephemeral experiences with performers that could otherwise fill stadiums are things we have the pleasure of doing regularly. Plus: Human expression is necessary for human evolution. We are so grateful for the past three years, and more than anything we want to keep going for three thousand more (MINIMUM.) We want to open our doors to you when it’s safe. We want to keep creating experiences online forever. We want to flarpin’ pop our ding-dang Dynapop and enjoy it with you. [delicate piano tinklings tinkle out sweetly]

Speaking of enjoying things with you (dannnng this segue is TRULY versatile!) we have some amazing shows coming up with just that purpose in mind. 

TODAY at 5:00 PST enjoy our monthly FREE dose of positive magic, Shout Out Show with special guests…. VANJAM?! We’re excited to go on and share our mantra with the SOS Sirens! We’re also excited to decide what our mantra is. And what to wear! TO OUR DRESSING CHAMBERS! EEK! 

Tomorrow, FRIDAY - we are thrilled to have emo-darlings Every Place I Cry (Off Book’s JESS MCKENNA and ZACH REINO + NICK MANDERNACH and ROSS BRYANT) back for a totally improvised emo concert. If you like music, comedy, feelings, talent, studded belts, flat ironed bangs and/or entertainment THIS IS YOUR SHOW. 

SATURDAY we welcome Wild Horses to tear up our pasture! Yes, LAUREN LAPKUS, MARY HOLLAND, STEPHANIE ALLYNE and ERIN WHITEHEAD are best friends who are also best showpeople. Watch them have a loose n’ lovely conversation with their special guest KATE MOENNIG (The L Word!) and then they’ll do an improv set and your life will be better off. It’s that simple. 

SUNDAY we have a collab with our favorite bookstore Skylight Books: The Desert Oracle book launch! Author/podcaster/myth expert/Mojave madman KEN LAYNE will be joined in conversation by author/journalist ANNA MERLAN. Get weird with them. 

MONDAY the infinitely lovable duo of LAUREN LAPKUS and PAUL F. TOMPKINS are BACK with another improv show packed with delights. Don’t miss their Christmas in December, because that would be dumb and we KNOW you’re smart because you wear glasses! 

Speaking of, 

VanJam